just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
