All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 609 share tweet
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
