Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
