You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
