Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
false alarm, still single
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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