Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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