hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
