I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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