I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
