And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
