we're chasing vodka with high fives
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
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