So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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