I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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