No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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