My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
she woke up with a sticky ear
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
