he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
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