Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
