do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
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