FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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