so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
