The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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