Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize