After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
