just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize
