YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
