I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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