Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
