I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize