is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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