the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
