My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
