her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize