yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
being pregnant is like rehab
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
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