you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
...so i touched it.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
