hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
