I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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