So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
