Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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