I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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