Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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