I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
