Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
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