I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
