Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize