i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
