Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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