She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
