so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
not ubering you a puppy
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
