The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
We need to rekindle our bromance
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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