i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
