I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Randomize
