In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
