end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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