so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
