I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize