i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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