it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
