Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
