It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize