Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
