he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
