..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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